這是今天上課的教材之一,因為很妙所以貼上來和大家分享
隨文附上不負責中文翻譯以供參考

WELCOME TO THE PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE
龍發堂熱線歡迎您

If you're a manic compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
如果你有強迫症,請重複按1。

If you're a co-dependant, please get someone to press 2 for you.
如果你有重度依賴症,請找個人幫你按2。

If you suffer from multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
如果你有多重人格障礙,請按3、4、5和6。

If you're schizophrenic, just wait a few seconds and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
如果你有精神分裂,請先等個幾秒後,會有謎之聲告訴你該按幾號。

If you suffer from paranoia, don't press anything. We know who you are. Please stay on the line while we trace your call.
如果你有妄想症,請不要按任何號碼。我們知道你是誰,請留在原地,我們將會查出你的所在位置。

If you're a depressive, don't bother pressing a number as you know no one will bother to answer your calls anyway.
如果你感到憂鬱沮喪,不必費心撥號了,反正你知道沒有人會接聽你的電話。

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